When married couples are young, many are terrified of all the responsibility required to raise a family. Equally terrified are retired couples with no responsibilities or places to be. Some couples live relatively independently of the other and some function better as a single unit. Depending on our personalities we may react differently to so much available time with our spouse in retirement.
Retirement allows us to focus on our favorite activities and hobbies. For some of us, that keeps us busy, while others try to figure out what they like to do when not working. Some retired spouses say they wish the other had more to do and was not under foot all the time. Active retired volunteers might tell you they keep so busy to stay out of the other’s hair.
For some retired couples who find their relationship has changed over decades, divorce sets them free with the good years they have left to explore the world.
Growing apart from your best friend and lover
People who have been married for many years get divorce and stay best friends all the time, as a divorce lawyer trusts can attest . Sometimes, they just want their independence after being married and raising children.
When we get married we focus on starting a family and raising kids. Members of the family assume typical roles, and everyone is as busy as they can be for decades as the children graduate, start college and eventually their own families. Once our children are well on their own we settle into being grandparents. Meanwhile, so focused on the kids, did we pay enough attention to our spouse and marriage?
After years of marriage it is easy to end up living more like a couple of roommates who know each other’s habits and routines better than anyone else. When you both are retired there is nothing but time to spend together, and it drives some people nuts.
Exploring all the roads never taken
Young couples look towards the future like they are going to live forever without a care in the world other than being in the arms of their beloved. Senior couples look at how much time they may have left and may seek to fill their tank and check off bucket list items.
People who make great compromises in their marriages may want to play out all the things they let go of during the marriage to someone who had different interests and priorities. Like so many widowed spouses who completely reinvent themselves after losing their spouse, the silver divorcing community is growing and many are finding a great new pool of people and experiences out there.