My Divorce Has Been Finalized, Now What?

Divorce can be one of the most mentally challenging events in a person’s life, as a family lawyer New York, NY trusts can attest. It can be an emotional rollercoaster when your daily routine and habits are now completely different. The adjustment period after divorce can be new, and the unknown terrifying. It may be the perfect time to get a therapist to help you work through this icky stage.

In order to help you move forward and start healing, you need an outlet to focus on yourself. This is the time to rediscover who you really are. Here we have covered the many benefits of going to therapy after your divorce has been finalized.

Feeling Your Magnificence Again

During the months post-divorce, you may not be feeling a high level of self-confidence. Depending on the reasons behind why the divorce happened, you may be feeling crushed and worn. A therapist can help you remember your forgotten talents, skills, and the gifts you bring to this world.

When in a marriage, many people focus all of their energy on their partner and what he or she wants. If that is applicable to you, now you can spend this time focusing entirely on yourself. It is now about what you want, what you like to do, and that you are not broken because your marriage ending.

Creating a New Schedule

Following the divorce finalization, you may find you have plenty of extra time on your hands. This can be very scary and feel foreign. You may feel compelled to sleep often or isolate yourself out of fear. Your therapist can help you create a new schedule to fill in those hours that used to be filled with your former spouse. Here is a list of activities you can incorporate into your daily routine during this adjustment period:

  • Take up new hobbies
  • Go on a mini vacation
  • Practice self-care
  • Visit a supportive friend or family member
  • Adopt a new pet
  • Spend time outdoors
  • Exercise
  • Check out new restaurants
  • Take educational classes
  • Do some sort of art
  • Journal
  • Photography

The list of activities you can add into your day are endless. Make sure they are positive things that make you feel good and enhance your mood. Try to refrain from heavy use of alcohol or drugs to dull the pain. Let your therapist know if you are struggling with the use of substances.

Learning to Let Go

After a divorce, it is very normal for people to have lingering feelings of anger, bitterness, resent, heartbreak, depression, anxiety, and more. These pent-up emotions may be preventing you from moving forward. By having a safe and non-judgemental place to express your feelings, it can allow you to feel more in control.

A therapist role is to guide you through these emotions and potentially traumatic events. It will take time to process these feelings, so be patient with yourself. Treat yourself kindly. Becoming frustrated because you don’t feel great at this time can only prevent you from eventually obtaining emotional freedom from the divorce and your former spouse.


Thanks to our friends and contributors from Okun, Oddo & Babat PC for their insight into family law practice.