You may have found a new significant other pretty soon after your divorce. It can get awkward bringing someone new to holiday gatherings, especially if your ex might be there. It could go well, or it could be disastrous depending on the circumstances. If you are wondering about whether you should invite them or not, ask friends and listen to yourself. You should be sure that your relationships with the people there will not be negatively impacted if you do this. There are a few questions you should ask yourself before giving the invitation:
- How will the other guests react to you bringing someone new.
You may have strong feelings about this new partner, and you may feel this is a great opportunity to introduce them to your loved ones, however, your loved ones may not be ready. It is typically difficult to replace a romantic partner (especially a former spouse) right away, and your family may be worried about you. This is not to say that you cannot find a suitable partner right away, however, you may be jumping into something new for comfort without realizing it. You should have some time established between you to be sure this person is someone you wish to present to your family. Your family may reject a new partner so soon, so you must be prepared for that.
- Will your children be there and will it cause issues?
This will be a major decision. Introducing your children to someone new is a big deal and if the relationship is not serious, it could cause instability and emotional turmoil for your children and your ex-spouse. Depending on your custody or visitation arrangements, your children may not be there when you introduce your significant other to the family. ANd you may choose to wait to introduce them, but there may still be the risk that they find out about them anyway. That can cause confusion and mixed feelings which can ultimately lead to hurt. It may be best to wait altogether.
- What are the chances of negative reactions from your family members?
You may be in the honey-moon stage of the relationship which is when you see each other as these perfect, infallible humans. Your family may not see them in the same light, especially under the circumstances. Think about what the family will think of certain habits and behaviors before dragging the, through this nerve-wracking experience. It may be better to postpone an awkward encounter if you know your family may not react well.
You have just gone through a divorce, you may be vulnerable as it is, and you may not be ready to endure scrutiny of your new relationship by your family. It may be best to feel out the relationship longer and prevent a potentially horrible first meeting.
Remember that you are in control of this and that you will know what is best. If you feel one hundred percent confident that now is the right time, you should go for it. However, if it is new and you have doubts, maybe wait until next year. Waiting won’t hurt you but a first meeting that doesn’t go well may result in a terrible ordeal that is totally avoidable.
If you are having trouble with decisions like these or any post-divorce complications, consider calling a therapist for a consultation appointment. They may be able to help you make the decision from an unbiased point of view and can give you perspective you may not have otherwise. If you need legal advice, search for Scottsdale AZ Guardian Lawyer for some legal support. Plus, everyone can use a little support!
Thank you to Hildebrand Law for providing the resources and tips on bringing your significant other to Holiday Celebrations.